


Paranoia

by Vault_Emblem



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Naesala-centric, Paranoia, Pre-Game(s), Tellius Week, the other characters don't appear much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-12 13:59:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12960849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vault_Emblem/pseuds/Vault_Emblem
Summary: Being the new king of a dying country is already difficult, now if only Naesala could shake off the feeling that someone's watching him.(Written for Tellius Week)





	Paranoia

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know how I got inspired for this piece, read this article [here](http://www.wired.co.uk/article/ravens-theory-of-mind).  
> In short it says that raves, the actual animals not the laguz, can have thoughts about been watched and act accordingly, so I thought to write a little something about my favourite raven. I know this may sound ooc, but I image that Naesala's young when he's made king, and of course being so far in the line for succession, he definitely didn't expect this, so he'd probably feel scared and/or paranoid!
> 
> Also thanks to langmaor for sending me the article in the first place!

He's just checked and he's completely alone in his room, and there seems to be nobody's outside that could spy on him from the open window.

Naesala closes the damn thing, drawing the curtains over it. It's better like this; the curtains are tick enough, nobody should be able to see through them.

He sighs and he runs a hand through his hair.

 

He still can’t shake the feeling that he’s been watched.

 

He has to be careful. Kilvas is already on the brick of extinction – thanks to that fool of his predecessor – and now he has to be what guarantees that Kilvas will keep living.

… Easier said than done: he’s young and he has no experience of this. He grew up knowing that he will never sit on throne, yet here he is.

 

His younger self would be so happy now. His current self, not so much.

 

He paces in his room, thinking about what he has to do.

He looks around from time to time, but he’s still alone.

If only he could shake that feeling off then.

 

 

Reyson comes to see him.

Naesala tries to welcome him as best as he can, but he’s worried. What if they see him? What if they see that there are still herons alive, even if it’s just only one? What would they make him do?

He takes him to the most secure part of the castle, and Reyson questions that need of secrecy.

Naesala can’t tell him anything. If he does, he could spread the word around and then Begnion would’ve surely started the plague again.

But worse than this, they could’ve seen him telling him that.

 

He has to learn how to be unreadable to Reyson.

What if he voices his worries or his feeling when they’re spying on him?

Of course Reyson notices, but Naesala feigns indifference. He can’t let him get close to his heart.

He knows he’ll only push him away like this, but it’s for his own good.

 

 

Sometimes Nealuchi looks at him with that sad gaze that makes him want to crawl in his arms and cry, but he never does that.

He can never be seen in a moment of weakness.

Not that he doesn’t trust Nealuchi – actually he’s probably the only one he can trust at the moment – but he can’t shake that damn feeling that he’s been watched.

 

Some nights he can’t even sleep.

He has to be perfect. If he does something wrong, Kilvas will perish.

But why can’t they stop watching him?

 

 

Someone’s gently shaking his shoulders.

Naesala’s eyes snap open, but luckily it’s just Nealuchi.

He has fallen asleep on the throne.

 

Nealuchi doesn’t need to tell him. He knows perfectly well that this can’t go on much longer.

He’s exhausted, and he knows that he won’t be able to hold on much longer in this state, but what can he do?

 

He takes the old raven to his room. That should be safe enough.

Once he’s sure they’re alone – but that feeling never really goes away, not anymore – he lets it all out.

 

Nealuchi looks saddened.

If only he could save his little nestling from this… If only he could take him away. But he can’t.

He can’t do anything, apart watching him losing his mind and offer all his support.

 

Naesala doesn’t forget the gaze Nealuchi sends his way then. He hates it.

… That pity. He doesn’t want it.

 

He takes a deep breath and he gets up.

He knows what he has to do now. Anything in order not to make anyone look at him like that.

Call it pride, call it stupid, but this is how he feels.

 

He just has to do his thing. How difficult can it be?

Who cares if they're watching him. If he has nothing to hide, it’s not a problem, right?

 

… Goddess, he really needs to get better at this whole thing.

 

 

As he gets older he does get better at hiding all his internal dilemmas, his anxieties, his worries.

It’s easy to put on a smug façade for him now, smiling when someone threatens him for some despicable thing he’s done, like he doesn’t care about anything in world.

It’s not true, of course; he cares about Kilvas and he’ll do anything he can to make sure that his people can see the light of the next day, people’s opinions of him be damned.

 

He still feels like they’re watching him, but by now he’s gotten used to it.

Who knows, maybe somebody’s actually watching him. It may be all the people whose death he’s caused with his actions, never letting him go wherever he goes, following every step to remind him that, one day, he will pay for all of this.


End file.
